22
Since Jin Hee became a little offended when I said that no one ever majors in being 22. I've decided to write a little something about what happens after you're 21.
As I've previously stated, once you turn 21. It's pretty much all downhill from there. You've turned 21. You've partied at all the bars and all the clubs. You tell anyone who will listen to your drunken banter that you've just 21 and you'll drink anything they want to buy you. You go out to bars and clubs for one reason. To get fucked up. After the newness of 21 wears away what are you left with? Fifteen extra pounds of Coors Light, and a newfound affection for the toliet, which you've been hugging for a month and a half straight.
Once 22 comes into the picture, you readily decide that drinking yourself silly is NOT the answer. You may ask how I've become such an authority on 22, well my best friend is 22. You're not looking to go to bars to find your soulmate in the bottom of a pint glass, you're trying to find it in the guy who's sitting across the room from you. You walk over, which gives you the advantage to the girls who just turned 21 because they are wearing their best club outfit to an Irish pub where the dress code doesn't mind flip flops. Once you get over there you fake a conversation about the game that's on, you even offer to buy a round of shots if (insert team name here) wins. Or depending on what he's wearing you might even talk about the stock market or some current political events. When you're 21, the conversation goes mostly like, "So, I hear you like to fuck." Then they're leaving with the best looking or just the drunkest guys they can find.
The bar is one of the only "traditional" places to meet someone. Especially if you're still in school. Because when you're walking through campus, you look around and realize that most of the guys that you think are semi-attractive have the capacity to be at the most 4 years younger than you. Which means when you were going to your senior prom, they were thinking that girls were icky and talking about video games in the corner of their 8th grade dinner dance.
Nothing fun happens when you turn 22. You've been going to the bar so often since you've turned 21 that you have a usual, and the bartender knows your name and has your change waiting for you because they know that you're going to pull out that 10 dollar bill to pay for your pitcher of beer. You have specific nights to go to specific bars, and if you're not there by 10pm a group of people will start to call you and think that something is wrong because you're at that bar like clockwork by 9:37pm every Thursday. One of those people might even be the bartender because he's been holding your 4 dollars in change for the past half hour, and he's letting you know your pitcher is getting warm.
Being 22 is fun though, because when someone at the bar you frequent turns 21, you can always tell. They are putting back their 4 dollar pints faster than you can find out their name and buy them a shot. Once they've been there for an hour they've dropped close to $50 on top shelf mixed drinks, when you've drank the same amount of them and spend at least half as much as they did because you know it's $2 well drink night, or even more because you've been drinking dollar drafts.
With 22 comes knowledge. You know where to go for a good crowd, and you never have to worry about getting in. Your ID is worn and torn enough that the bartender knows it's real, and you get a good laugh out of those who swear up and down that they majored in being 21 make that face when they take a shot of Soco and lime. You laugh at the younger girls who are wearing the 4 inch spiked heels, with an outfit that they bought specifically for that night at the bar. While you're comfortably sitting in the bar stool that you got to the bar early for, because you knew once 10pm rolled around it was a standing room only event.
22 isn't the most fun. I'm sorry Jin Hee, but there are pros to being 22. You're not a "newbie" to the bar scene anymore, and you know alot more about life, because you've either experienced new things, or you witnessed them happening to your friends. So when it comes down to it, although no one really majors in 22, when you're 21, by the end of that year you're more than ready to handle 22.
As I've previously stated, once you turn 21. It's pretty much all downhill from there. You've turned 21. You've partied at all the bars and all the clubs. You tell anyone who will listen to your drunken banter that you've just 21 and you'll drink anything they want to buy you. You go out to bars and clubs for one reason. To get fucked up. After the newness of 21 wears away what are you left with? Fifteen extra pounds of Coors Light, and a newfound affection for the toliet, which you've been hugging for a month and a half straight.
Once 22 comes into the picture, you readily decide that drinking yourself silly is NOT the answer. You may ask how I've become such an authority on 22, well my best friend is 22. You're not looking to go to bars to find your soulmate in the bottom of a pint glass, you're trying to find it in the guy who's sitting across the room from you. You walk over, which gives you the advantage to the girls who just turned 21 because they are wearing their best club outfit to an Irish pub where the dress code doesn't mind flip flops. Once you get over there you fake a conversation about the game that's on, you even offer to buy a round of shots if (insert team name here) wins. Or depending on what he's wearing you might even talk about the stock market or some current political events. When you're 21, the conversation goes mostly like, "So, I hear you like to fuck." Then they're leaving with the best looking or just the drunkest guys they can find.
The bar is one of the only "traditional" places to meet someone. Especially if you're still in school. Because when you're walking through campus, you look around and realize that most of the guys that you think are semi-attractive have the capacity to be at the most 4 years younger than you. Which means when you were going to your senior prom, they were thinking that girls were icky and talking about video games in the corner of their 8th grade dinner dance.
Nothing fun happens when you turn 22. You've been going to the bar so often since you've turned 21 that you have a usual, and the bartender knows your name and has your change waiting for you because they know that you're going to pull out that 10 dollar bill to pay for your pitcher of beer. You have specific nights to go to specific bars, and if you're not there by 10pm a group of people will start to call you and think that something is wrong because you're at that bar like clockwork by 9:37pm every Thursday. One of those people might even be the bartender because he's been holding your 4 dollars in change for the past half hour, and he's letting you know your pitcher is getting warm.
Being 22 is fun though, because when someone at the bar you frequent turns 21, you can always tell. They are putting back their 4 dollar pints faster than you can find out their name and buy them a shot. Once they've been there for an hour they've dropped close to $50 on top shelf mixed drinks, when you've drank the same amount of them and spend at least half as much as they did because you know it's $2 well drink night, or even more because you've been drinking dollar drafts.
With 22 comes knowledge. You know where to go for a good crowd, and you never have to worry about getting in. Your ID is worn and torn enough that the bartender knows it's real, and you get a good laugh out of those who swear up and down that they majored in being 21 make that face when they take a shot of Soco and lime. You laugh at the younger girls who are wearing the 4 inch spiked heels, with an outfit that they bought specifically for that night at the bar. While you're comfortably sitting in the bar stool that you got to the bar early for, because you knew once 10pm rolled around it was a standing room only event.
22 isn't the most fun. I'm sorry Jin Hee, but there are pros to being 22. You're not a "newbie" to the bar scene anymore, and you know alot more about life, because you've either experienced new things, or you witnessed them happening to your friends. So when it comes down to it, although no one really majors in 22, when you're 21, by the end of that year you're more than ready to handle 22.
posted by Allison at 1:30 AM
3 Comments:
its all good girl. but i realized as i get older the younger i look. i mean the more makeup i wear the more i get carded. when i was in high school, fat and ugly, people used to think i looked 20 something. now that i'm in college, fat and hot(might be hot only because i'm asian...dunno don't care), people think i look 16. so once you turn 22 the art is trying to actually look your age. cuz i sure have a hard time looking 20 now a days.
Allison,
Hey listen, there is nothing wrong with buying a new outfit for going out to a bar. Its nice to get dressed up and go out, that is what being a girl is all about! Dressing cute, going out, and never having to buy one drink for yourself... because all the old sleezy men do it for you! :)
21...22...I weep for you all. Come and talk to me when you are 26 and MARRIED!!! I have a gas bill every month! I recycle cardboard. There have been times, not just once but many times, that I have washed out my bathtub with Ajax. Calgon is ONE MINUTE from taking me away.
(P.S. Where's my plug??? I gave you one!)
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