Too Young To Feel This Damn Old
That's right. I feel old. I wake up early in the morning, work 8 hour sometimes, 11 hour days to go to sleep to wake up to do it again. But someone has to supply pharmaceuticals to the world, and it might as well be me.
Working at this company has made me realize alot of things. For example, the less people who see you, the more powerful you are. I have yet to see the CEO of this company. Yet I strangely fear him.
So, since my last couple of posts, I've decided that I want to write a book. I want to write a book about the strange horrors of living in surburbia, being young and looking for love. Not so much autobiographic, just a collection of instances and whatnot.
Whenever it comes down to it, I'm always the first to leave somewhere. This comes back to being old. And it never fails, one of my friends will always say to me, "You suck, you can't hang." Sometimes, I really just want to say, "You know what, it's 1:30 in the morning, I've been at school and work since 7am. I think that if after 18 1/2 hours that I decide I'm tired and want to sleep, I should be allowed to. After all you woke up 15 minutes before we decided to go out."
When it comes down to it, I'm going to be hunched over when I'm an old lady. And it's not my fault. It's society's. When I go to work, I spend more time walking between the 12th and 14th floors than I do doing anything else. Not only that, my office enforces a strict dress code where the only pants I'm allowed to wear look best with 4 inch spiked heels. So I'm walking up and down the stairs all day, walking back and forth to the copy machine, delivering things, and all the while ruining my posture with every step. Whatever happened to those shoes that "looked like a pump, felt like a sneaker?" Because I know these look like a pump and feel like Chinese Water Torture.
You know you're starting to get old when you get to the weekend, you don't do anything that has to do with drinking and Monday morning comes and you're not anywhere near ready to go and face the work week. I had a grand total of three drinks this weekend, one for each day of the weekend, and on Monday morning, I felt like I was on a major bender all weekend. Really the most excruiating thing I did all weekend was drive to Pennsylvania. I used my right foot more than anything this weekend, and I feel like I drank a 5 gallon container of vodka. That's it, I'm putting my right foot on a time out. No strenuous activity for a while. Which would probably help my shoe problems as well.
Thursdays are my favorite day of the week. They are hell to get through, but once I get to about 9pm, it's completely worth it. I go to school two days a week from 8am - 12:30pm and then again from 6pm - 9pm. Which doesn't really seem that bad, but when you factor in the 4 hours of work from 1pm - 5pm, it turns into a really long day. Now that I'm 21, my friend and I have decided to not become 100% lushes and have a designated "bar night." Unfortunately, the only time either one of us could get this together was on a Thursday. So at 9 o'clock on a Thursday, when I'm starting my 13th hour of the day, that's when I can finally drink. And that's what I need, but we go to this local diner/restaurant/bar place, where enivitably there are about 7 guys to everyone girl, so I'm getting wasted at record speed because I don't have to spend any money. But then you spot that one guy across the bar, and you want him to come over and talk to you, but since all the other guys in the bar are flocking to you like a vultures do to a carcass, you're screwed. You've got three different conversations going on, and you're making eyes across the bar to the one guy who's not talking to you. Finally when all of the excitement has faded away. You look to where he was standing to make your move, and he's gone. Isn't that just my luck.
My other least favorite thing about bar night is that the guy that I have the biggest crush on, is the one guy that I can't think of anything to say to. Any other person, including of the male species, I can talk their ear off. This one guy, we could be sitting right next to each other and the only thing I can muster up to say is, "Oh I'm sorry, did I kick you?" Really, I need to work on my hot guy social skills.
At work, I have to type alot of memos. I'm a really good typist, but the only problem is that I think using AIM has scarred my typing skills. When instant messaging first became popular, I was about 15. So I used little things like, "OMG, that guy is so hott." Or, "BTW" for by the way. Other problems occur when I have to type, "you" I'm so used to going with u that it looks like it's in some sort of cryptic code the first time I type it. Now my friends find themselves talking in initials, so now when I'm in the office and want to tell someone to keep me in the loop of something that's going on, I find myself stopping myself from saying, "I don't want to be OTL, so please, just keep me informed." OTL? What is that? You and I might know that it means "Out of the loop," but these corporate types just think that I'm that weird girl who's first langauge is shorthand, WTF?
The one thing that doesn't make me feel old is the fact that only one set of my friends is married. And they are 5 years older than me, which is completely acceptable. When my friends who are 20 and 21 start getting married before me, I know that I'm either the biggest loser, or I feel too old that I've skipped that part in my life and went right to being divorced.
And finally, I think that I need to lighten up a little bit, my one friend, works when she feels like it, calls out if she wants to go to the bar, and will hook up at will. She has the most rewarding life of anyone I know. I on the otherhand, work all of the time, take care of all my responsibilities, but yet when it comes down to it. She's tired because of all the hooking up she's doing, and I'm tired from all of the walking up and down the stairs. I'm definitely getting the raw end of the deal here. So, hopefully, when it comes down to it, I'll act my age, and stop trying to grow up too fast, because now feeling too damn old doesn't seem to be working for me, and well let's just throw responsibility out the window, because there's no way I'm letting these years pass me by.
Working at this company has made me realize alot of things. For example, the less people who see you, the more powerful you are. I have yet to see the CEO of this company. Yet I strangely fear him.
So, since my last couple of posts, I've decided that I want to write a book. I want to write a book about the strange horrors of living in surburbia, being young and looking for love. Not so much autobiographic, just a collection of instances and whatnot.
Whenever it comes down to it, I'm always the first to leave somewhere. This comes back to being old. And it never fails, one of my friends will always say to me, "You suck, you can't hang." Sometimes, I really just want to say, "You know what, it's 1:30 in the morning, I've been at school and work since 7am. I think that if after 18 1/2 hours that I decide I'm tired and want to sleep, I should be allowed to. After all you woke up 15 minutes before we decided to go out."
When it comes down to it, I'm going to be hunched over when I'm an old lady. And it's not my fault. It's society's. When I go to work, I spend more time walking between the 12th and 14th floors than I do doing anything else. Not only that, my office enforces a strict dress code where the only pants I'm allowed to wear look best with 4 inch spiked heels. So I'm walking up and down the stairs all day, walking back and forth to the copy machine, delivering things, and all the while ruining my posture with every step. Whatever happened to those shoes that "looked like a pump, felt like a sneaker?" Because I know these look like a pump and feel like Chinese Water Torture.
You know you're starting to get old when you get to the weekend, you don't do anything that has to do with drinking and Monday morning comes and you're not anywhere near ready to go and face the work week. I had a grand total of three drinks this weekend, one for each day of the weekend, and on Monday morning, I felt like I was on a major bender all weekend. Really the most excruiating thing I did all weekend was drive to Pennsylvania. I used my right foot more than anything this weekend, and I feel like I drank a 5 gallon container of vodka. That's it, I'm putting my right foot on a time out. No strenuous activity for a while. Which would probably help my shoe problems as well.
Thursdays are my favorite day of the week. They are hell to get through, but once I get to about 9pm, it's completely worth it. I go to school two days a week from 8am - 12:30pm and then again from 6pm - 9pm. Which doesn't really seem that bad, but when you factor in the 4 hours of work from 1pm - 5pm, it turns into a really long day. Now that I'm 21, my friend and I have decided to not become 100% lushes and have a designated "bar night." Unfortunately, the only time either one of us could get this together was on a Thursday. So at 9 o'clock on a Thursday, when I'm starting my 13th hour of the day, that's when I can finally drink. And that's what I need, but we go to this local diner/restaurant/bar place, where enivitably there are about 7 guys to everyone girl, so I'm getting wasted at record speed because I don't have to spend any money. But then you spot that one guy across the bar, and you want him to come over and talk to you, but since all the other guys in the bar are flocking to you like a vultures do to a carcass, you're screwed. You've got three different conversations going on, and you're making eyes across the bar to the one guy who's not talking to you. Finally when all of the excitement has faded away. You look to where he was standing to make your move, and he's gone. Isn't that just my luck.
My other least favorite thing about bar night is that the guy that I have the biggest crush on, is the one guy that I can't think of anything to say to. Any other person, including of the male species, I can talk their ear off. This one guy, we could be sitting right next to each other and the only thing I can muster up to say is, "Oh I'm sorry, did I kick you?" Really, I need to work on my hot guy social skills.
At work, I have to type alot of memos. I'm a really good typist, but the only problem is that I think using AIM has scarred my typing skills. When instant messaging first became popular, I was about 15. So I used little things like, "OMG, that guy is so hott." Or, "BTW" for by the way. Other problems occur when I have to type, "you" I'm so used to going with u that it looks like it's in some sort of cryptic code the first time I type it. Now my friends find themselves talking in initials, so now when I'm in the office and want to tell someone to keep me in the loop of something that's going on, I find myself stopping myself from saying, "I don't want to be OTL, so please, just keep me informed." OTL? What is that? You and I might know that it means "Out of the loop," but these corporate types just think that I'm that weird girl who's first langauge is shorthand, WTF?
The one thing that doesn't make me feel old is the fact that only one set of my friends is married. And they are 5 years older than me, which is completely acceptable. When my friends who are 20 and 21 start getting married before me, I know that I'm either the biggest loser, or I feel too old that I've skipped that part in my life and went right to being divorced.
And finally, I think that I need to lighten up a little bit, my one friend, works when she feels like it, calls out if she wants to go to the bar, and will hook up at will. She has the most rewarding life of anyone I know. I on the otherhand, work all of the time, take care of all my responsibilities, but yet when it comes down to it. She's tired because of all the hooking up she's doing, and I'm tired from all of the walking up and down the stairs. I'm definitely getting the raw end of the deal here. So, hopefully, when it comes down to it, I'll act my age, and stop trying to grow up too fast, because now feeling too damn old doesn't seem to be working for me, and well let's just throw responsibility out the window, because there's no way I'm letting these years pass me by.
posted by Allison at 2:49 PM
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