My Boredom = Josh's Gain

Josh. Joshua. Joshie. These are some of the names that I call him. But when it comes down to it. One name cannot explain this remarkable human being. How was that for a opening line? I thought that it was pretty good. But honestly, this post is 100% dedicated to the one and only Joshua.

Alright, many many many moons ago, when I was a wee tot. Okay, I was 14, but hell, I'm pretty short. I was in the marching band, where I met this wonderful man. Josh. Okay. He wasn't so much of a man, as he was 14 as well, but he was on the road to becoming a man. So Josh liked my friend, so I did what any friend would do, forge a friendship with Josh. So what happens? Josh and I friends forever. Not so much, but I'm not getting into that.

Josh, as a friend, is the go to guy. You go to him when you need something. Advice about other boys. You go to him when you have a problem with your car. You go to him when you need concert tickets. Heck, you even go to him just cause you want to bother him. Does he care? Yeah just a little bit though. Not a whole lot, but he will call you and yell at you.

Joshua and I are however are the same exact person. Except he has a penis. I do not. Well, maybe. No, I just checked, I definitely don't. But we like alot of the same things. We both like cars, but he likes to play with them and fix them and make them go faster. I like to try and not crash them. We both like the same music. We might even rendezvous at a show every now and then. But Josh, well he's pretty much a cool guy.

I like Joshua because I can IM him, and this is how one of our conversations will go:

A: Hi
J: skank
A: dork
J: loser
A: douchebag
J: whore
A: moron
J: slut
A: okay, i can't think of anymore. how are you?

And it's like a ritual. We can't have a normal conversation before we do that. It's great. I love being degrated before having a conversation.

Okay, yeh, I'll also proposition Joshua many times a week. He says it's cause I need to get laid, I think it's because he's a sexy SOB. This is how that conversation will go:

A: So, your place or mine?
J: what?
A: When are we gonna hook up?
J: I don't know.
A: you wanna?
J: hold on...no.

I love rejection. I think that's why I take it so well in my life. It's all because of Joshua. Well, there you have it. A poorly written article about Joshua. I'm sorry this sucked but I needed to write a tribute to the wonder that is Josh. So, all in all. I love this stupid skank whore, Joshua. Not cause he's sexy, but because, he's grrrrreat.